As we wrote about recently, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I’m glad I restarted my account, as it is much easier to manage. I have noticed, though, a massive drop-off in the amount of traffic to our blog since the restart, but that’s okay.
Facebook is a great tool, but far too many people (mis)use it in ways that are harming their homes. It has been reported recently that fully 33% of all divorces mention Facebook somewhere in the divorce filings.
Certainly, there are ways to enjoy the good uses of Facebook without it leading to divorce, but it can be very easy to be trapped in a digital, social, interactive world and much closer to cheating on your spouse than you ever dreamed you would be. If nothing else, it is easy to find yourself drawn to Facebook friends in a way that is drawing your attention away from your spouse, even if only subconsciously.
How can we enjoy Facebook without it leading to harm to our marriages? Here are 6 tips.
1. Never Hide Your Activity from Your Spouse. If you won’t scroll through your timeline or even your private Facebook messages with your spouse nearby, you are doing something you shouldn’t be. Your husband or wife should be able to look at your Facebook page at any point in time…no questions asked, and you should be willing to share.
2. Share Your Password. Why would you be embarrassed if your spouse logged in as you just for a moment, just to see what you have been up to? (By the way, this is important for parents, too.) Sharing passwords should be true of all accounts and devices, but especially when it is connected with something as “social” as Facebook.
3. Unfriend Anyone Your Spouse Isn’t Comfortable With. If you have an “old flame” as a friend in Facebook, that’s not necessarily wrong. But if your spouse is not comfortable with that person, you should unfriend that person…immediately. Doing so shows that the emotions and desires of your spouse are worth more to you than peering into the life of someone else.
4. Don’t “Like” Tempting Things. How many men “like” the pages of celebrities not because their work is good, but because they like seeing pictures of her? How many women “like” nice looking movie stars, even though they know that their husband will never look like that? By clicking that “like” button, you are adding things that will pull your eyes, heart, and mind away from your spouse on a regular basis.
5. Praise Your Spouse on Facebook. Leah isn’t on Facebook, and if she ever does sign up, you will probably see pigs with wings flying overhead. That said, I try to post things about her from time to time that build her up. This is a public forum where we can build up our marriage and the one to whom we are married. Far too many, though, run down their spouse. Praise him. Praise her. And do so often.
6. Turn Off Facebook. It’s a great tool, but there is also an addictive nature to it. Set parameters for how much time you will spend scrolling through your news feed or checking messages. When that time is done, turn it off and actually spend face-to-face time with your spouse. Or, if you check Facebook on your lunch break, take the time to call or text your spouse or plan something for a date.
No one starts out on Facebook thinking, “I’m going to see if I can ruin my marriage with this website.” Sadly, though, by not using Facebook in a responsible way, it is easy to chip away at the foundation of your marriage. Before you know it, “Facebook” may be used in some papers at the courthouse that you never thought you’d have to sign.
Treat your spouse and your marriage with honor in every space…even cyberspace.
QUESTION: What are some ways you protect your marriage on Facebook? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Photo credit: Maria Elena on Creative Commons
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