Category Archives: Family

Doing Great

One of my favorite ways to relax is to read a good book. It is my way of escape from thinking about lesson plans, IEPs, laundry, and many other seemingly mundane tasks of daily life. When I read, I am guilty of totally leaving my current surroundings and the people there. That is one reason I mostly read at night!

I have recently been re-reading a series of books written by Lynn Austin based on the reigns of several Old Testament kings. In the books, Austin freely admits that much of the storyline is fictional, but she has researched life in that time and part of the world and added that to the Biblical record to make for some thought-provoking novels. For one thing, it makes the reader want to go back and re-examine the Old Testament to see which parts are fictional and which parts are factual!

In Among the Gods (Chronicles of the Kings Book #5), I came across this quote that really made me think:

All of us would like to believe that we could accomplish one brave, selfless act for God and for His kingdom. But it takes greater courage to faithfully accomplish the daily, thankless tasks of everyday life for Him— being a father to our children, a good husband to our wives, building His temple one laborious block at a time.

I fear that I am so guilty of this! I want to do something great for God, but am I doing great with the jobs He has given me to do in my daily life? Am I being the Christian wife the Bible tells me to be? How am I doing in raising my children for the Lord? Am I shining God’s light to those around me at work? Am I loving my students in a way that will make them want to know what makes me different?

Instead of looking for something big or amazing to do, maybe I should just get busy doing what God has given me to do in an amazing way that brings glory to Him.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might …” (Ecclesiastes 9:10)
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” (Colossians 3:23)


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AUTHOR: Amber Tatum

5 Questions Preachers’ Wives Ask Regularly

Literally my whole life, I have been around preachers’ wives. My mom was one for more than 30 years. My sister is one. And, of course, I am married to one. I have also had the privilege of being around many other preachers and their wives throughout the years, and these couples are some of the finest people on earth.

Being a preacher is wonderful, yet stressful. But being the wife of a preacher carries a weight that few can imagine (I guess, maybe, elders’ wives can relate, but that’s about it).

Today, I want to share with you some of the things that precious lady carries on her mind constantly, so that you can pray for her and encourage her. I would venture to say that most preachers’ wives ask themselves the following five questions almost daily.

“Am I Doing Enough?” Very few, if any, preachers’ wives do not ask this question constantly. They are wondering if they are teaching enough classes, helping with enough programs, hosting enough people in their home, and so on. While few other ladies stop to ask this, the preachers’ wife wears this question on her shoulders with every decision. She does not want to disappoint others, but she is also weary from what she is involved in.

“Are We Going to Have to Move?” Even if they have been in one location for 10 years or more, this thought goes through her mind. Because she’s heard all the stories of preachers who were fired “out of the blue,” even after many years at a congregation. She loves making her house a home, but she lives with the constant thought that one decision, one influential member’s hurt feelings, or one change in the eldership could mean she’s packing it all up…again.

“What Do People Think of Me as a Mother?” Trust me: if your preacher and his wife have children, she wonders what you think of her. She is thinking that every decision (to take the child out and spat his little hand or not; to homeschool or to send to public school; to let kids play ball or not) is going to be critiqued, and those who do not agree with the decision will think less of her. Whether or not this is true, she carries that with her the whole time the kids are under her roof.

“When is Our Time?” Preaching is demanding on time. He needs to prepare sermons and classes, of course, but “ministry” also needs to happen, and it’s not always 9-to-5. Sometimes, that’s in the evenings. Other times, it is late at night or early in the morning. She knows where her husband is, but she sometimes wonders how long he’s going to stay out. And while he’s out, she carries the responsibility of the home, and a feeling of loneliness.

“Can I Have a True Friend?” You may not think this is a real concern, but it is. Many preachers’ wives are worried about getting too close to anyone, for fear of how others might perceive it. She thinks that if she is close friends with one person, then someone else will feel slighted. Also, she wonders how much she can share about the stresses of her life without sounding like she is whining, or without coming across as a gossip.

I am grateful for preachers’ wives. I am grateful to be married to the finest one on earth, but I also know the struggles that come with that role. While it is not an official position, many people place expectations on the preachers’ wife nonetheless, as if there were some handbook somewhere that she is to follow.

For each lady who stands beside her husband as he faithfully proclaims the Word of God, I thank you.

And to my wife who supports me in prayer, thought, and action daily…I love you.


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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

I Had No Idea

The lady in the picture with me is a new Facebook friend. Until very recently, I only knew Jane Humphrey as a nice lady who worked in an insurance office. I had spoken to her on the phone and talked with her in person about “business stuff,” but I had no idea about how much we had in common.

Those who read A Legacy of Faith may remember that one of my recent posts was about a man by the name of Robert Waller. [Read that post here if you missed it.The post included a picture I had taken of brother Waller and our son, Adam Faughn. The picture was taken after our son had presented a lesson at the Freed-Hardeman University lectureship a couple of years ago. 

I think I’m fairly safe in assuming that, when brother Waller baptized me, he had no idea that he would someday hear my son speak at the FHU lectureship.  In fact, when he baptized me, he had no idea that I would ever have a son.

After that post appeared, one of Jane’s cousins made her aware of it.  The insurance agent for/with whom she works (and who is an elder in a congregation close to where I live) told me a little about her reaction. As I remember it, he told me that her reaction was: “I had no idea…”

There is a little “backstory” to all of this. By the time I got to know brother Waller in the early to mid-1970’s, he had lost his first wife. I never knew her. I only knew the lady he had married after her death. I was only vaguely aware of the fact that brother Waller and his first wife had a couple of children. By the time I got to know him, they were no longer at home. 

At about the same time I wrote the post about brother Waller a few weeks ago, I learned that Jane Humphrey is one of those children. I had no idea.

Similarly, she had no idea that I had even known her father. She certainly did not know that he had baptized me.

As they say on television – But wait!  There’s more!!

When brother Waller baptized me, I was a high school teacher in my hometown of Metropolis, Illinois. At that time, I thought that would be my career for a lifetime.

However, that proved to not be the case. Sometime after brother Waller left my hometown, I ended my career as a teacher and began preaching in Vienna, Illinois. 

During my time in Vienna, brother Waller preached in a gospel meeting at his “home congregation” in Paducah, Kentucky. I was able to attend one night of that gospel meeting. As I talked with him following the service, I expressed “mock disappointment” about something he said – or more accurately did not say. 

Before he began his lesson for the evening, he expressed gratitude for people who were in attendance from various congregations in the area. As I talked with him later, I told him that I was “disappointed” because he had not mentioned Vienna, Illinois where I was preaching. 

I wish I had a picture of the look on his face. I still remember it. I also remember that, as rare as it is, I had caused a preacher to be speechless. While he did not say the words, the message was that he had no idea that I was no longer teaching school and was preaching.

I can remember that, during his time in Metropolis, there were a few times when brother Waller would ask me to accompany him as he conducted a Bible study in somebody’s home. It goes without saying that he had no idea that he was planting a seed that would someday produce a gospel preacher. 

So – what is the point of all of this? 

It is not merely about the fact that I have a new friend. It is not merely about some of the unusual twists and turns that my life has taken. It seems to me that there is something much bigger than those things to consider. 

It seems to me that the point of all of this is that none of us ever truly knows the people with whom we may be having what we think is only a casual conversation, a business transaction, etc. We may have more in common with a lady in an insurance office, a bank teller, a worker in some store or restaurant we frequent, etc. than we could ever imagine. 

I’m really hoping that my new Facebook friend was pleasantly surprised to learn about the connection between her late father and me. I’m hoping that, when she said that she had no idea, she was not saying that she found it difficult to believe that somebody who is so different from her father could have anything in common with him. 

We never know what kind of impact that our interaction with other people may have. How would you feel, for example, if you were to learn that the “nameless person” you just yelled at, cheated in a business deal, were rude to in some way, in a business, recreational, or social environment was, in fact, a brother or sister in the Lord? How would you feel if you learned that somebody who was giving some consideration to becoming a Christian was turned away from the Lord by observing your behavior?

Our impact and influence could reach beyond the immediate moment. We may never know how far-reaching our words, attitudes, and actions may be. It could very well be that the way I treat somebody who, at the moment, is unknown to me could change his or her life from that moment on. It could even very easily be the case that each of us could have an impact on generations yet to be born. (Remember, our son who is now a preacher was not even born when brother Waller baptized me.)

It could even be the case that what I do and say as I interact with others could have an impact for eternity. I think it would be wonderful to see somebody in heaven and for one or both of us to be able to say…

I had no idea.


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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn

Episode 77: The Church and Coffee Bars, Stay at Home Moms and Education, the Heart of Hospitality, and More! [Podcast]

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On this week’s podcast, Adam and Leah roll through a bunch of topics, ranging from how the church needs to have a priority on preaching the Gospel (and not on coffee bars) to how hospitality starts with our heart. And there is a lot more, too. All the links can be found below. We hope you enjoy their candid discussion of issues, both serious and fun.

Resources

Why The Church Doesn’t Need Any More Coffee Bars” [A Young Widow’s Story]

No, Stay at Home Moms Don’t ‘Waste’ Their Education” [The Federalist]

The Real Reason Your Child Might Leave the Church” [Jeremiah Tatum; A Legacy of Faith]

How to Have a Hospitality-Ready Heart” [Of the Hearth]

The Six Gifts of Hospitality by Laurel Sewell [Amazon]

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Preparing for a Wedding

March 20, 1970 was a very busy day. Actually, there had been a great deal going on for weeks around my mom and dad’s house. We were preparing for a wedding – my wedding to the man I loved and with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. 

The time and place were set. Dresses were being made for bridesmaids, suits were being selected for groomsmen, flowers were being selected, songs were being picked out, decorations for the church building were in the planning stages, a photographer was chosen, THE DRESS had been purchased, a place for the reception was selected, a beautiful cake had been ordered, and so many other things were occupying our time.

I know this sounds very familiar to anyone who has either planned a wedding or may be planning one in the not too distant future. There is so much to do to prepare for a wedding.

But, I wonder…do we take any time to prepare for the marriage? You see, there is a huge difference in the wedding and the marriage. The wedding is a celebration that lasts for part of a day. The marriage is intended by God to last for your lifetime (Matt. 19:5-6).

How do you plan for a marriage? Let me share a few thoughts that hopefully will help stir some young minds to make an even longer list of preparations for their marriage.

  • Take your time. Hopefully, you have had parents who recognize that the task of training their children for marriage begins with their example in marriage, and teaching what God says about marriage in His word. But, along with this, when you begin to have an interest in the opposite sex, take your time in selecting someone to date. Have your standards set that are in accordance with God’s word. Choose carefully the person with whom you will spend time and never rush into anything because “everyone else is.”
  • Listen to your parents. Most parents have a wealth of knowledge just because they have traveled the path upon which you are walking. Listen to and accept their wisdom on subjects having to do with life. Marrying a person is one thing; dealing with life on a day-to-day basis with that person is something else entirely. We listen to the advice of doctors, teachers, co-workers and others in our life. Make sure you listen to the two people who love you the most. (Prov. 1:8)
  • Understand the meaning of commitment. So many people today are raised without a deep understanding of commitment. We hear it said like this, “Rules are meant to be broken.” If it doesn’t please us or go our way, we quit. If you didn’t have parents who were committed to one another in marriage, learn what true commitment is before you enter marriage. Look carefully at the level of commitment of the person you are considering marrying and never assume “he’ll/she’ll change.” Again, God intended for marriage to last for a lifetime.
  • Seek pre-marital counseling. Many ministers will not perform a wedding ceremony until they have counseled with the couple. What a blessing!!! Talking with someone who is objective about differences you may have as individuals is invaluable. If the problems you may encounter can be pointed out before you are joined for life, you will hopefully be ready to tackle them when they come (and they will come).
  • Spend time in prayer and study. God will listen to you as you are preparing to enter the most important earthly relationship you will have. Next to being married to Christ when you become a Christian, this is your most important relationship. Pray for the person you will marry and his/her family. Pray for yourself and your family as you prepare to enter this new role in your life. Seek God’s wisdom in all of the planning for your life as a married person.
  • Enjoy your wedding day. Take joy in the beautiful wedding for which you planned, knowing that you have spent the most valuable time preparing for your marriage.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all…”  Heb. 13:4a


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AUTHOR: Donna Faughn

Get Out of the Blues

We all have difficult days. Our mood can be down and we can feel depressed. Even as Christians, there are seasons of life where we just struggle to feel “up.”

In fact, some suggest we are more likely to feel down in the cold and dark Winter, so maybe the changing of seasons is enough to break us from a difficult time.

But in case it is more than that, what can we do to get out of the blues?

[DISCLAIMER: This post is not speaking about clinical depression. That is a serious issue and we would never dare say that the things we are going to suggest are “the fix” for it. If you suffer from that type of depression, we pray for you and hope that doctors and others can help.]

If you are just feeling a little down, let me give a few practical steps to GET out of the blues.

GET into the Word. We need to remember that the Gospel is good news! Don’t you need to be reminded of that when you are in a difficult season of life? Yes, you may have difficult days and you may struggle for awhile. But if you are a Christian, your Savior has already defeated the enemy and you have the blissful hope of heaven. Read the Bible and be reminded of that!

GET on Your Knees. God wants to hear all your heartaches and struggles. Even if you think you are just going through a little lull, the Lord wants to know that. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

GET Outside. Sometimes we are down just because we have been staring at the same four walls for what seems like forever. Filling your lungs with fresh air and feeling the breeze and sunshine on your face can do wonders to lift your spirits. (Oh, and it reminds you of the awesome power and creativity of God, too.)

GET Some Exercise. It doesn’t have to be 12 hours of weightlifting (thank goodness). Just go for a brisk walk, or play catch with your kid. Take a bike ride or do some yard work. When the blood gets moving again and your muscles and joints are moving more, it helps pump good hormones through your body.

GET with a Friend. It may be your spouse, or it may be an old friend you just like catching up with over lemonade or lunch. But if they are truly a friend, you can confide in them that you are struggling. They will pray for you. They will help you smile. They will care…and sometimes, that’s all you need.

GET a Healthy Meal. When we feel bad, we often complicate it by eating poorly. We fill up on “comfort” food (which is often junk food) and then we start to not be as physically healthy. It is amazing what a couple of good, healthy meals will do for you when you are down. It doesn’t have to be a giant salad, either. Just avoiding junk and eating balanced and healthy meals will work wonders.

GET into Service. Few things do more to lift our spirits than to help someone else. Go visit a nursing home. Help an elderly lady clean out her flower beds. Run a dessert by the house of someone who is shut in. You will be reminded of some good things that you have, and you will take your thoughts off of yourself and pour them into the life of another.

It is okay to have a down day. We all do, and God understands that not every day will be filled with laughter and smiles.

But if you find yourself down, see if getting into these things doesn’t help you start to feel a little better and more optimistic.


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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

[Quote] Parents Need to Step Up with Their Sons

Source: Dr. Meg Meeker, Boys Should be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons, page 224

A Poem Every Parent Needs to Remember

Today’s post is very simple. It is a poem that you have probably heard before, but that every parent needs to keep in mind as we seek to raise those precious treasures God has given to us.

The poem is called “When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking,” and the author is Mary Rita Schlike Korazan. We hope it encourages us all.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed that there was a God to talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I looked….
and I wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.


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Yes, Our Kids Are Sheltered in Their Entertainment. Yes, We Want It That Way.

Our family loves movie night! On Friday nights when we are at home, odds are we will have a simple supper and sit down in our living room to watch a movie. It’s been a tradition now for 4 or 5 years, and we love it.

We also enjoy going to movies sometimes. While it is expensive, we enjoy making it a special outing. We don’t go see every “kids’ movie” that is produced, because we want a trip to the movies to be special.

Though we watch quite a few movies, have a couple of favorite TV shows on DVD, and enjoy listening to the radio at times, we are very selective in what we let our kids see and hear through the entertainment media.

Very selective.

If they take the Lord’s name in vain? We don’t watch it.

If there is cursing..at all? We don’t watch it.

If there is homosexuality? We don’t watch it.

If there is immodesty? We don’t watch it.

And, yes, there is more on our “don’t watch” list, but I figured you didn’t want to read every possible thing we will not watch.

I sometimes hear parents talk about choosing movies and TV shows and they have very low standards for their children (sometimes, even small children). One reason they often give is this: “I don’t want my kids to be sheltered as to what is really out there.”

Really? That’s our logic?

Now, let me say this: I fully understand that we cannot keep our kids as “kids” forever. Virtually every day I am struck by how quickly they are growing. In fact, as I write this, my “little” boy will be 10 in just a few days, so both of my children will be in double-digits for their ages. They will not be kids forever.

And I want them to know that sin is real and it is out there in the world. We are not trying to hide the fact that people do bad and sinful things. We are not trying to make them think that everyone on the planet goes to church and always speaks properly and always dresses in modest apparel (a trip to a shopping center or high school football game will teach them that that’s not the case).

Two Reasons Why I Feel This Way

But, when it comes to entertainment? Yes, I want to shelter my children. Yes, I like it that way. And here are two reasons why.

First, I want to teach them that just because it is produced for entertainment does not mean that we have to consume it. It is remarkable how many children in Christian homes are experts on virtually every entertainment option that is produced. They have seen all the movies. They watch a constant stream of TV shows. They can name music artists and songs…

…just like people in the world can.

We are not required to be entertained in order to survive! I want to teach them discernment in their entertainment. (By the way, that means I must model that in my own entertainment choices, as well.) Instead of just vegging out in front of whatever is on, I want them to see that there is more to life than just mindlessly consuming whatever is put out there in the world of entertainment.

Second, I want to shelter them because I do not want Hollywood opening the eyes of my children. It is not up to Hollywood to educate my kids. It’s not up to record producers, radio stations, iTunes, DirecTV, or Google, either. It’s up to me!

Christian parents, we have got to quit just giving lip service to saying our children need to be morally pure. We cannot say that and then let the entertainment industry teach them their version of morality. Hollywood’s morals are going to slide further downward over time. We know this.

But since we know that, how can we just let them feed our children more and more rude, crude, vile, and immodest material? Our children, literally, are not ready for what Hollywood feeds them, yet we let them have the minds of our children.

Not this parent! I want to show them what sin is from the Bible, and show them how to stay away from it. I want to be the one to help them begin to think through how to face temptation, not let them see Hollywood’s “just do what feels good” message.

So, yes, they are sheltered when it comes to entertainment. And, yes, I like it that way.

Because it is one way in which I, as a parent, am refusing to abdicate my responsibility to parent.

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.

I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. (Psalm 101:3)


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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

Episode 76: Reflections on Louisville, Dealing with Entertainment Choices, You Can Get Your Family to Worship on Time, and More! [Podcast]

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On this week’s podcast, Adam and Leah talk about some recent goings-on, they discuss how Christians can deal with entertainment choices, and encourage families with tips to get ready for worship.

Plus, they talk a little college basketball. It is March, after all!

Resources below.

Links

Is Genesis History? [Homepage]

To Go or Not to Go…” [Amber Tatum; A Legacy of Faith]

6 Tips for Getting to Church On Time” [Of the Hearth]

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Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes

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