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Category Archives: Family

…But They Aren’t Running

…But They Aren’t Running

Though young, he could have been running for reelection, and she could have been his youthful, dynamic running mate. Barely old enough to qualify, he could have squeezed out a small victory in 2008 and now could have united the nation around both his policies and charisma. She could have been identified as the one to ride her wave of popularity through the next four years and right into the White House in 2016.

He might have been the perfect combination of intelligence and personality. He might have been so popular that the other party wondered if it was even worth it to run someone against him. He might have helped our nation begin to turn back to the Lord, as he was not afraid to put his faith on display.

He might have been the one to not just say that fiscal responsibility is important, but he might have worked through a plan. We might have seen our national debt begin to move downward. International leaders might have hailed him as the greatest President our nation has ever had.

She might have been the lady who was the first in a national executive position. Though two other female major candidates made a run at Vice-President, she could have been the very first to succeed, and now she could have been primed to move up one more position in just four years. She could have been a beacon of what it means to a true lady, though one in power.

But they didn’t run in 2008, and they aren’t running for reelection in 2012.

For the next few weeks, we will consider the policies, beliefs, and personalities of four people. We will pray about whether to vote for the incumbent President, Barak Obama, along with his running mate, Vice President Joe Biden. We will also pray about whether to vote for Mitt Romney and his running mate Paul Ryan. In each of the four candidates, we will find things we must prayerfully consider, both good and bad.

But the amazing, youthful, world-changing candidates that could have been in office won’t be on the ticket.

Because, in 1973, their mothers killed them, and our nation said it was okay.

Yes, those first victims of abortion would now be old enough to be running for reelection to the highest office in our land. But we decided that they were an inconvenience.

It saddens me that we have all these troubles as a nation, and we want to blame certain parties, certain groups, or certain political leaders. We bemoan the lack of morals in our society, and we want to blame everyone around us.

America, it is very possible that God sent us the solution to our national debt, to diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to lagging morality, and it is very possible that we put those solutions–in the form of innocent children who would be the great leaders of our world–to death.

When you consider your vote over the next few weeks, just think about who could have been running.

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Photo credit: hjl on Creative Commons

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“Love” and “Acceptance” are Not Synonyms

“Love” and “Acceptance” are Not Synonyms

“Mary Carol, don’t run out into the street.”

“Turner, you can’t eat 15 cookies.”

Why do I tell my children these things? Why can I not just accept their actions? Why can’t I just let them express themselves however they choose? After all, that’s what they want to do.

It’s because I love them.

A parent who loves a child sets boundaries that provide for both maturity and safety. I know that running out into the street with abandon could lead to injury or worse. While cookies are great (especially Leah’s ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies), 15 of them will make a little kid sick and unhealthy.

That concept is so basic. Nearly everyone understands that as it pertains to parenting, especially smaller children.

Why, then, do we not understand the same concept as it pertains to our heavenly Father?

Practicing homosexuality is a sin.

Adultery and fornication are wrong.

Adding to God’s prescribed ways of worship is sinful.

Gambling is lawlessness.

Why? Doesn’t God love me? How can He be so intolerant?

It’s because He loves you.

It’s because, like a wise parent, He knows where these things lead. They lead to problems (at the very least) in this life, and eternal damnation after death.

It’s because He wants what is best for you. He wants you to have an abundant life, as well as eternal life.

Love and acceptance are not synonyms. Sometimes, love just cannot be accepting. Sometimes love says “no.” And sometimes, love punishes.

But it’s because love knows the outcome and is trying to mold behaviors for what is best.

Why do we struggle to make this distinction?

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Photo credit: Mindaugas Danys on creative commons

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Teens and Twitter: Parents Need to be “Following”

Teens and Twitter: Parents Need to be “Following”

I love Twitter. In fact, if you don’t follow me on Twitter, stop reading right now and click here to do that!  I didn’t take the time to see how long I’ve been using this service, but I would guess it’s been about 4 years.

Twitter is now over 6 years old, but in the past year it has really hit a momentum point as teenagers have come to use it en masse. As with any type of technology, this movement is neither good nor bad, it’s how it is used that makes all the difference.

Personally, I think one of the reasons we have seen this movement among teens to Twitter is that it is easily tied to text-messaging, which teens use on a regular basis.

Parents, if you are not following your kids on Twitter, though, you need to. I follow people of all ages and from all parts of the country, so this post is not just for parents of teens. However, I have seen more of the following problems with Twitter among teens. Here are some things parents need to watch for and educate their children about that could be tempting on Twitter.

1. Posting things that don’t jibe with Philippians 4:8. Paul wrote that Christians should meditate on things that are “true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise.” A lot of what is said on Twitter goes totally against that message. God is concerned about what we say…and post.

2. Following temptation. By that I mean that far too many Christian young people follow the tweets of friends, celebrities, and others whose message is completely anti-Christian (and some even retweet some of these anti-Christian messages!). While someone may be humorous or famous, that does not mean we need to be feeding our mind with his/her message constantly.

3. Never sleeping. I am amazed each morning when I wake up. Somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00, I nearly always check Twitter just to see what happened overnight. Each morning, there are tons of tweets by Christian teens that are “timestamped” as “3 hours ago” or “4 hours ago.” Really? Our kids are up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning tweeting? Again, Twitter can be tied to texting, so they are receiving these messages all night and feel a “need” to respond immediately. I wonder how many of those same students then fall asleep in class or in worship, all in the name of Twitter.

4. Pride. Look, I love seeing how many Twitter followers I have, but I am not a big fan of calling them “followers.” That term does imply a certain level of pride. Far too many teens, though, are totally obsessed with seeing who has more followers than someone else. If that student is not careful, he/she will let pride take over just because of some silly number.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I love Twitter. Personally, I think it is one of the best communications tools to come along in a long time. In fact, I prefer it to Facebook now as a way to quickly keep up with people and gather information. But, as with anything else, there are temptations associated with this tool.

Parents, you are still in charge of your teens. You set the boundaries in their lives, including their usage of Twitter. If you don’t follow your kids on Twitter, you need to. If your son or daughter is doing things on Twitter that you do not approve of, you have the right to shut down his/her account, take his/her phone, or “suspend” him/her for some time. In fact, you must! Our young people need to learn how to be responsible Christians in all areas of life, including their online life.

QUESTIONS: What other temptations are present for teens on Twitter? What else can parents do to help their children with these temptations?

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Photo credit: Andreas Eldh on creative commons

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How to Build Oneness with Your Spouse

How to Build Oneness with Your Spouse

Last Friday, we wrote a post dealing with what it means when the Bible talks about “the two [becoming] one flesh.” If you have not read that post, take a moment and read it here.

The idea of becoming one is great, but the question we want to think about this week is, How can we do that? What can a couple do to build oneness?

In no particular order, here is a huge list of 51 ways to build oneness in a marriage.

1. Pray together.

2. Pray for one another.

3. Spend time daily in communication that is deeper than just surface-level stuff.

4. Learn more about a hobby that your spouse enjoys (fishing, sewing, etc.).

5. Read about marriage together.

6. Go on regular dates.

7. Reminisce.

8. Worship God together.

9. Don’t overschedule your lives. (If you don’t have time for your spouse, something needs to go.)

10. Never use sex. (It is not something to be used as a bargaining tool.)

11. Guys, keep your eyes on your wife at all times. (That includes when you are online.)

12. Ladies, keep your mind on your guy at all times. (Stop reading “fantasy” novels and make your guy your fantasy!)

13. Flirt.

14. Budget your money together each month. (Each spouse gets an equal vote each month.)

15. Communicate with every type of technology. I’m going to pause here for a minute. Please, please, please don’t get so used to texting that this is the only way your communicate with your husband or wife! Texting is a good tool, but you need to hear your spouse’s voice. If you are away for an extended period of time, look into Skype or Facetime. Use every possible communication tool to stay close.

16. Surprise him/her by doing one of “their” chores. (Cook supper, weed the garden, make the bed, wash the car, etc.)

17. Hold hands.

18. Give lots of non-sexual touches each day. (As Dave Ramsey puts it to guys, “Non-sexual means a touch that isn’t going anywhere.”)

19. Fight fairly. (You will argue at times, but that doesn’t give you the “right” to be cruel.)

20. Give thoughtful gifts. (They don’t have to be expensive. They just have to be from the heart.)

21. End every phone conversation and email with “I love you.”

22. Enjoy the sexual relationship often.

23. Only consume media that promotes healthy marriages.

24. Read the Bible together.

25. Listen to family-building programming. (I love FamilyLife Today via podcast.)

26. Read marriage-building websites and blogs. (My friend, Scott McCown, writes about marriage every Monday on his blog.)

27. Don’t be too proud to go to counseling.

28. Attend a marriage seminar/retreat.

29. Never allow anyone to speak disrespectfully of your spouse.

30. Always speak well of your spouse, whether he/she is around or not.

31. Allow your spouse to have full access to your email, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, etc. accounts.

32. Don’t hang around–in any way–someone your spouse isn’t comfortable with.

33. Don’t have debt. (You’ll be amazed at how oneness builds when you aren’t paying the banks!)

34. Dream about the future.

35. Discuss how to handle problems before you have them.

36. Think more of your wife than your fishing buddies.

37. Thine more of your husband than your coffee gals.

38. Guys, turn off the game.

39. Gals, turn on the game!

40. Love your children.

41. Allow zero disrespect from your children.

42. Learn places that are quiet. (Far too many restaurants aren’t really a good place to have quiet conversation.)

43. Cards, candy, flowers…they really do mean something.

44. So do baseball cards, hockey tickets, and fishing gear!

45. Renew your vows.

46. Mentor a younger couple.

47. When you go on a date, turn off the cell phone. (At least don’t check all your apps!)

48. Look into his/her eyes deeply…just like you used to.

49. Smile a lot.

50. Did I mention prayer?

51. Finally, do ALL of these ALL your life. Never tire of learning more about your spouse and of romancing him/her. It takes a real man and a real woman to build a life together.

QUESTION: What would you add?

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Photo credit: Jan Tik on Flickr creative commons

Thoughts on Becoming “One” with Your Spouse

Thoughts on Becoming “One” with Your Spouse

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Maybe no verse is used more in wedding ceremonies than that one. It outlines so much of what God has in mind for the design of marriage.

Often, we abbreviate it a bit when we talk about the “one flesh” idea, and just say, “They shall become one.”

In commenting on the verse, Matthew Henry wrote,

See how firm the bond of marriage is, not to be divided and weakened by having many wives (Malachi 2:15) nor to be broken or cut off by divorce, for any cause but fornication. … See how dear the affection ought to be between husband and wife, such as there is to our own bodies, Ephesians 5:28. These two are one flesh; let them then be one soul.

Adam Clarke adds,

These words may be understood in a twofold sense. 1. These two shall be one flesh, shall be considered as one body, having no separate or independent rights, privileges, cares, concerns, &c., each being equally interested in all things that concern the marriage state. 2. These two shall be for the production of one flesh; from their union a posterity shall spring, as exactly resembling themselves as they do each other.

This phrase should be the goal of every marriage. But what does it mean? We are obviously speaking about the very height of intimacy between a husband and a wife. But, in our confused society we don’t really know what that means.

Consider…

1. “One Flesh” is not only talking about SEX. This is what our society seems to think the word means, but it only thinks of this. Clearly, by using the word “flesh,” sex is included. But truly becoming one is not only done in one physical act. The sexual relationship should be a result of being one, not the definition of it.

2. “One Flesh” means more than something SOCIAL. There are too many couples who put on a good show in public and look as if they are “one,” when they are anything but. The “one flesh” relationship needs to be true in both public and private. Stop acting like something you are not.

3. “One Flesh” is not just SUPERSTITION. In other words, it is not just some words we say in a wedding ceremony out of tradition, or to try to put some “positive vibes” on our marriage. These are words that are the Creator’s design for marriage, not just trite statements to make our wedding look traditional.

4. “One Flesh” is meant to be a reflection of the SAVIOR. Jesus is completely involved with His Church. He died for her. He loves her. You cannot have one without the other. Such should be the case with our marriages. Our marriages need to soak in the light that comes from God in such a way that we cannot help but shine that light outward to the world around us. You should not be able to think of one spouse without thinking of the other.

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Next Friday, we’ll list some ways to help build this “oneness” in your marriage.

QUESTION: How else has our society tried to re-define “oneness” in marriage?

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Photo credit: bravenewtraveler on Flickr creative commons.

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