Category Archives: Family

What to Do When Someone Else Gets What You Wanted


Everyone has had it happen, and it hurts. It is when you worked for something, you put yourself out there, and someone else was chosen for what you wanted.

You applied for your dream job…but were passed over.

You wanted to get into that graduate school…but you didn’t make the cut.

You sought a promotion…but someone else got it.

You tried out for the team…and were left to be in the stands instead of on the bench.

We know the feeling. It is painful–because we wanted it so much–to be told “no,” or even possibly, “you’re not good enough.”

(By the way, as an aside, I have often wondered about the man we are told about in Acts 1 who is named “Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also called Justus” [v.23]. Can you imagine being the one who was not chosen to be an apostle, while Matthias was? I have no doubt that Joseph handled it well, but it has intrigued me for a long time.)

When those times come and you are not the one chosen, what can you do? While this is not an exhaustive list, here are 6 things that I would hope every Christian would do.

1. Prayerfully Evaluate Yourself. It is easy to assume that you were better qualified, more prepared, or more gifted than you actually were. After all, we are striving to put our best foot forward, so we emphasize (maybe overemphasize?) our good traits. Is there something you could have done better? Is there some training or education you need? Could you have been more humble? More well-spoken? More prepared for the interview?

2. Take Your Frustration to God. God created us with emotions, so He understands when we are frustrated and hurt. While we must always remember to be reverent toward God in our prayers, it is acceptable to pour out our frustrations to Him. After all, as a loving Father, He wants to hear from His children!

3. Respect the One Who Got the Position. You did not get the job (or promotion or position), but someone did, and they have feelings, too. Scripture commands us to “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15), and that is not always easy! Even if you feel that you were more qualified or prepared, respect that the leaders did the best they could, and do not ruin this positive moment for someone else.

4. Be Gracious of the Leaders and the Process. I have literally seen people who were passed over for a job or position take to social media to blast those who did not choose him/her. Such is unbecoming of a Christian! Leaders, in a vast majority of cases, are doing the best they can and are trying their best to have the best process in place. Give them the grace they deserve as leaders and respect the system used of selection.

5. Learn and Grow. The sting of the moment is very real, but if you will use it properly, you will come out on the other side better. How many of our best doctors did not get into their first choice of medical school, but used that to better themselves, and we are better for it! How many preachers did not get that job, but are far better preachers because they know better how to have humility from that “rejection?”

6. Trust that God Has a Plan. Is it not at least possible that, in His perfect providence, God would like you to take this time where you feel rejected and use it to His glory? Maybe you didn’t make the team so you can use that time to learn Scripture better and teach a friend. Maybe you did not get the job over there because you need to shine His light right where you are. Maybe you did not get into that school and it is because it would have been a place where you were tempted to move away from the faith. Even through times when you feel passed over, trust that God has a plan.

None of this is meant to say that you won’t feel down, hurt, or even rejected. The pain is real and natural; every person knows that feeling. But as people of God, there is a right way to handle every situation, even when someone else gets what you wanted. I pray these things will help you when that moment inevitably comes.

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

Informing, Not Enforcing: Some Thoughts about The Salvation Army


I fully realized that this may be one of my most controversial contributions to A Legacy of Faith. I have no interest in enforcing my practices or the practices of my family on anybody else. I would not presume to do so, even if I thought I had that right. 

A few weeks ago, while I was out doing some visiting, I drove by the local Salvation Army building. I took the time to stop and take a picture (which is reproduced below). I am doing this for one reason – and one reason only. 

I believe that there are many good people who donate to and/or buy from this organization without realizing that they are helping to support a religion. While The Salvation Army “markets itself” as merely an organization devoted to benevolence, the sign below demonstrates that it is, in fact, a religious institution.

While I have no interest in enforcing anything, I believe that, as a preacher and as an elder, I have the responsibility to inform others. It cannot be denied that those who choose to support The Salvation Army are (maybe unintentionally) choosing to support a group of people whose name, organization, worship, and plan of salvation cannot be found in the Bible. 

The following information may be found on The Salvation Army’s website:

The Salvation Army is an integral part of the universal Christian Church, although distinctive in government and practice.

Salvation Army places of worship are sometimes called ‘citadels’ or ‘temples’, but, whatever their name, they are Christian churches open to the community they serve and offering a warm welcome to all.

I will tell you that this is not merely an intellectual exercise for me. I have caught some flak from some of the bell-ringers who know that I am a preacher. They cannot believe that I would pass by those red kettles that seem to be everywhere about this time of the year without making a donation. One lady in particular really “raked me over the coals” for being a preacher and not supporting this “good work.”

It is precisely because I am a preacher of the gospel – and a New Testament Christian – that I cannot support or endorse any church other than the one about which I read in my Bible.

That’s where I am. That’s where I intend to always be. I hope you respect my decision and my right to make that decision. 

Your stand and your decision is up to you.


And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Col. 3:17, ESV).

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Our 2016 Holiday Gift Guide


In past years, we have released a couple of gift guides that were very random (one year, we even included a toy car-making machine!).

This year’s gift guide is meant to be more focused, as most of the ideas listed below are meant to instill the Word of God in the hearts of your family. A couple of things are for more specific groups of people, but we hope you find everything below to be helpful in learning God’s Word.

[Disclaimer: Any links below that take you to Amazon are affiliate links. All other links are not affiliate links.]

Polishing the Pulpit Flash Drives. In past years, Polishing the Pulpit has had some flash drives with all the audio lessons for attendees. However, after the convention, there are some drives left over, and they keep them available for sale, so long as supplies last. They are $100 each, but each contains over 400 lessons! To learn more, call PtP at 877-338-3397, or visit this page.

God, Give Us Christian Homes [Book by Jim Faughn]. Every family needs encouragement. Jim Faughn wrote this 13-chapter book to help families, or to be used in a Bible class. It would make a great gift for a family, or just a “gift to yourself,” for your family to study together. Currently, it is $11.95 on Amazon and can be found here.

Shaping Hearts for God “Class in a Box.” We use Shaping Hearts for God as our curriculum at 9th Avenue from 4s-5s through 4th grade. However, their “Class in a Box” is designed for 2s and 3s and can easily be used in a family devotional setting. There are two “classes,” and each is $39.99. Talk about a great gift for a young family that you see trying to teach their kids about God! Find out more and make your order here.

Shaping Hearts of God Bible Timeline. Okay, so this would take some space in a house, but if you know a family who homeschools, or who has a room where they hold family devotionals, this would be an awesome gift. It is a LONG timeline that shows the history of the Biblical narrative in a wonderful way. (Personally, this is my favorite thing that Shaping Hearts for God puts out.) The timeline is $29.99 and can be ordered here.

A gift for your elders: Rest in Green Pastures. Why not get your elders a small token of your affection? This book is written by elders, for elders. It is a quick read but provides so much encouragement. On Amazon, it is currently $12.00, and can be found here.

Advanced Reader: Amazing Skin Designed by God. Our kids love the “Advanced Reader” books from Apologetics Press, and this one is fresh off the presses. These books are for smaller kids, but even up through “tween-age” will probably find them interesting. This book is only $2.00 and can be ordered through Apologetics Press here.

Advanced Reader Series. If you want to dive into the whole Advanced Reader series from AP, you can order all 8 books in the series for the price of seven. For $14.00, that’s a great investment (and can be a wonderful stocking stuffer). Order them all here.

Pryor Convictions, The Book of Genesis. We are currently using this book in our family Bible time and we love it! Each of the 13 lessons is designed to be taught over the course of a few days, and includes a reading guide, review questions, crafts, games, activities, and more. The books produced by Pryor are intended for home use, so you will find them very useful. A great gift for a family. The Genesis book is $14.95, and you can find out more here.

CD: “One Voice: Praise & Worship.” Even though we are living in the age of Bluetooth, our family still listens to a lot of CDs when we travel. This is one of our favorites. It contains wonderful old hymns of praise sung by an amazing male quartet. This would make a great gift for a gift exchange or a quick, last-minute gift at a party. It is $15.00 here.

Hymns of the Heart. Okay, if you don’t mind, I’m going to include my own book here! This book walks readers through 35 of the Psalms and is meant to help the reader learn more about the wonderful God we serve. As of this writing, it is $11.41 on Amazon, but they regularly mark it down from that. You can find it here.

One Word Study Guide. These devotional books walk readers through one Biblical word (e.g., “grace,” “God,” “justification”) each week. Written by ministers of the churches of Christ, the goal is to share five short devotionals about each of the words, one for each week of the year in 2017. Many churches (including 9th Avenue) are going to give these out, but if your congregation is not, it would make a wonderful gift for someone. And, even more amazing, the book–which is tremendously designed and put together–is only $3.00. Order several copies here.

Well, there you go! We hope you find some of these resources to be great gifts…or you just decide to get some for your own family!

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

You Don’t Have to be Famous to Have True Influence


In the past 9 days, I have spoken at two funerals. The two services were for two ladies who meant a lot to me. One was in Nashville, and the other in Haleyville. It was a high honor to be asked to speak at each of the services, and in reflecting on the lives of these ladies, I was reminded of a powerful principle that every Christian needs to have in mind throughout our life.

See, unless you were near to these ladies, you probably would not have known of their passing. Their deaths did not make national news. No radio talk show is going to talk for hours about the impact on the world or on the national scene caused by their deaths.

No, they weren’t famous. But their influence will be felt for a long time to come.

We live in a time where people think you have to be famous to have influence. Certainly, those with a large platform (celebrities, politicians, and so forth) have influence. But when a celebrity dies or a politician is voted out of office, how many people really are touched by that change? Typically, it is not too many.

But when someone like these two sweet ladies leave this life and enter their eternal reward, their influence lives on. People are deeply hurt because there is a void. Their home is not the same. Their churches are not the same. Their daily routine is not the same. For a long time to come, even mundane decisions and actions seem different, because that person is not there.

Christians, I beg all of us to not worry about how large our platform is. We need to quit buying into the celebrity culture. (You know, the one that says, “If only *this* celebrity would become a Christian. That would change everything!”)

Instead, we need to shine our light and be the salt of the earth that Jesus said we are. More than likely, you are who you are today because of people who are not famous, but because someone simply took the time to love and encourage you.

These two sweet sisters did that, person by person, for years. So, they are missed, and will be for a long time to come.

But their influence will live on, too. It’s not the kind of power or fame that the world says we all need to seek. Instead, it is true influence, because it leads people closer to things that are eternal. In the end, that’s what really matters, and it is what we all need to seek.

“You are the salt of the earth…You are the light of the world.”

(Matthew 5:13, 14)

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

Photo background credit: Don LaVange on Creative Commons

Have You Said That You Were Sorry?

This past weekend I received a random text from a number that my phone did not recognize. Here’s what it said, “I’m sorry for everything that happened. I just wanted to wish you and your family a happy holiday season.”
This text message literally took my breath away. Who was it from? To what were they referring? I immediately tried to think about anything that had happened that was bad over the last several years. Fortunately, I could not come up with anything I personally had done to hurt someone that was so significant that I would have to have a conversation about it.
As I learned of who had texted and the reason for the comment, I was reminded of several truths about life:
1. Sometimes we struggle in relationships. Feelings get hurt. People get mistreated. We can be the giver or the receiver of these troubles. We don’t enter into any kind of friendship or relationship because we plan on making mistakes along the way. But we will make mistakes. We will need to forgive and to be forgiven.
2. Decisions we make have long-term consequences. This person was contacting me over something they were sorry about that happened a long time ago and over a period of years. The fact that I did not have their number saved in my phone would indicate that we no longer had a close personal relationship. Sometimes when we have conflicts there is no easy resolution and it may lead to someone we care about just not being as close to us as we would have liked for them to be.
3. It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness. This person sent me this message because they had a burden they were carrying they needed to lay down. Jesus taught his disciples to forgive every single time a person asks for forgiveness. This is what God does for us. We should be thankful whenever someone asks for our forgiveness. I was thankful that when I received the message, I couldn’t think of anyone I was in conflict with. I couldn’t think of anyone I had not already forgiven.
4. We should be sad that wounds happen. Whether we are the one who has caused the wound or not, what overwhelmed me about this text was the very idea that I could ever have a conflict in my life that might cause another person pain and heartache. It should be our aim to love everyone and to get along with them as much as depends on us.
What at first was a random text out of the blue turned into a blessing, because somebody expressed something that they believe needed to be said. Life is short. So tell people what’s on your heart. Repent of anything that you may have done to disobey God or to hurt someone else. You will find that there is peace in finding the strength to say you are sorry. Pride solves nothing. A humble and contrite heart is what God is seeking in each and every one of us.
“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
 – Psalms 34:18
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Thanksgiving…For the Wrong Reasons


It is not an original idea to suggest that thanksgiving should be much more than a holiday. All people would be much better off and the world would be a much better place if an “attitude of gratitude” would be the norm. This should especially be true of a person who wears the name of Christ and is truly trying to follow Him. 

As I was thinking about the upcoming holiday and, more importantly, about the mindset that should be ours, my mind went to a passage where gratitude was expressed. It was even expressed to God. Sadly, however, it was expressed for all of the wrong reasons.

The passage that came to mind is Luke 18:9-14. No doubt you are familiar with this account that begins this way: “Two men went up to the temple to pray…” (v. 10).

As you recall, the Pharisee began his prayer with these words: “…God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector” (v. 11). At this point in his prayer, he began telling God about some of his good qualities. 

I’m wondering how many of us have expressed gratitude for similar things. Our gratitude may focus on what we have accomplished, how we are thought of, and so on. 

This “misfocused gratitude” may be a problem for an individual, a family, a nation, or even a congregation of people who claim to be loyal to and follow the Savior. Our focus cannot be on us (either individually or collectively). Our focus must be on our Lord and the wonderful salvation that is available in Him.

If we ever fall into the trap of thinking that we can be good enough, moral enough, or productive enough to “earn” our salvation and spend eternity with Jesus, we might want to consider the following passage (and many others like it):

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life (Titus 3:4-7, ESV).

Then, we have thanksgiving, for the right reason.

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Episode 67: Our 2016 “Thankful List” [Podcast]

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With Thanksgiving right around the corner, our little family sat around and counted our blessings. There is no way we could share a full list of all the ways in which God blesses us, so instead, we made a list of 16 blessings from 2016.

Below is the list, or you can listen along as Leah, Mary Carol, and Turner all join me for this podcast.


Our 16 Things

  1. Getting Spot
  2. Time with our cousins (including cousin’s camp)
  3. Vacation to Chattanooga
  4. Painting the living room
  5. Pumpkin patch trip (with covered bridge)
  6. A good school year
  7. Time with grandparents
  8. Doing better going on dates
  9. Getting a new Bible
  10. Getting to know friends better
  11. Our new car
  12. Working on Lads to Leaders (finishing 100 verses)
  13. Our garden
  14. Learning about canning
  15. Junior camper awards at Maywood
  16. Mary Carol becoming a Christian

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Thanksgiving Ribbons: A 5-Minute Project to Help Make Thanksgiving Memorable


Next week, we will celebrate a national day of Thanksgiving. So today, to help you prepare, I would like to share a simple idea that our family did a few years ago that really made Thanksgiving more meaningful. And it only takes about five minutes!

Ours looked something like this, only with questions written on the ribbon.

The ribbon we chose looked something like this burlap.

Before Thanksgiving, we bought some wide ribbon and wrote various questions on the ribbon with a Sharpie. (Make sure the ribbon is wide enough to write on, and thick enough so the Sharpie doesn’t bleed through.) Some questions were fairly simple and some were more contemplative. We then tied the ribbon around napkins and placed them at each plate. By the way, we were careful to place the simple questions at the kids’ places at the table.

After the meal, we simply went around the table and everyone answered his or her question. Some of the questions included:

Who is one person you are thankful for this year?

What is one event you were thankful for this year?

What is one event this year where you saw God’s providence in your life?

This is a great way to generate some meaningful conversation. In fact, some family members wanted a chance to answer someone else’s question even after answering their own!

Now I am not a crafty person, but this is one of those projects that even I can do. It’s also one that could be made to be really pretty, too, and add a lot to your Thanksgiving table. It is my hope that this will help you and your family have a wonderful holiday, one that is full of true thanksgiving.


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AUTHOR: Leah Faughn

[Quote] Thomas B. Warren on the Value of Suffering


SOURCE: Our Loving God: Our Sun and Shield by Thomas B. Warren. (page 44)

Connected to What?


Leslie Stahl may not be well known to those of us who choose to worship on Sunday evenings. That may be due to the fact that she is a regular contributor to the long-running (on Sunday evenings) CBS program 60 Minutes.

lesley-stahl-becoming-grandma-book-jacketMs. Stahl (she is married, but is one of those thoroughly modern women who does not use her husband’s last name) also appears on other CBS news shows. As the picture of her book cover shows, she is also an author.      

Recently, I watched part of an interview with her about her new book. (The interview was not on 60 Minutes, by the way.) As you can see from the picture of the cover of the book, the book is about being a grandparent and how, at least in her mind, that role has changed in recent years. 

What you cannot see is the “behind the scenes” story about how the picture was taken. I found that part of the interview to be more fascinating than Ms. Stahl’s views about being a grandparent. 

What the picture supposedly shows is a grandmother sitting with two adorable granddaughters who are fascinated with a book. According to Ms. Stahl, that is not what was going on when the picture was taken.

According to her, the older granddaughter was, indeed, fascinated by the book. She posed willingly for the picture. 

That was definitely not the case with the younger granddaughter. She was causing all kinds of problems until a solution was found.

The solution was that somebody thought to tape an iPhone into the book!

The smaller child is not reading. She is being entertained! She was, in fact, watching a movie! Instead of connecting her mind with the book and her will to that of her grandmother, she was “connected” to an electronic device. 

I’m not so much of an old fogey that I resent and oppose modern technology. I went online to find the picture of the book. I’m typing these words on a computer. I plan to attach this post to an email to send to our son. You may read this on a computer or some sort of digital device. As I see it, there is nothing inherently wrong with any of that.

However, in my mind, there is a danger when entertainment becomes a substitute for some very important things. I have in mind things like true education, interaction with family members and others, and worship. Have you ever noticed that many of us don’t talk about what we think any longer? Instead, we talk about how we feel

I am not advocating that computers, tablets, or smartphones should be thrown into the trash. I am advocating, though, that these things need to be put aside fairly often in favor of an old-fashioned book. 

Read. Think about what you read. “Argue with” what you read. Take notes. Make comments in the margins. Do something besides turning your mind off and a device on. 

Maybe we could even expand on this a little. Instead of an email or text message, how about a handwritten note? Instead of Snapchat (whatever that is), how about a phone call? Instead of a Facebook post, how about a personal visit and conversation? Instead of being LinkedIn, how about being “tuned in” to your spouse, your children, your friends, and others as they communicate with you?

How about being connected to the things that really matter instead of things that are of much less importance?

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