My son-in-law called me a few months ago and asked me if I could help him out with something. He had booked a flight and a hotel room for Amber and himself at Pensacola Beach for the first few days of October. It was his birthday gift to her (which he has done for the last several years). They go and enjoy some relaxation on the beach and enjoy the beauty of the ocean and some of their favorite restaurants.
He had, however, failed to check his calendar before he booked this trip. When he did check it, he was booked for a gospel meeting for those same days. So, he called me and asked if I could help him out by taking his place on the trip with Amber. I thought about it for a nanosecond and said, “YES!” Luckily when I checked my calendar after agreeing to go, I had those days free.
We took that trip last week, and there aren’t enough words to tell you how much I enjoyed having that time with my daughter. As I was packing for the trip, I began trying to remember the last time we had been able to spend some time together – just the two of us – and really have time to talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. It had been way too long!
I thought about some important things about this mother/daughter relationship that I hope will help those who may be reading this – young or older.
- She is my best girl friend and I am hers – at this point in time. It has been that way for lots of years. However, it was not that way when she was growing up. We had a warm and loving relationship, but I was not her best friend – I was her parent, her mother. I was teaching and training and disciplining her so she would be prepared for her role as a wife and mother. She had lots of friends, but at that point in time she needed a mother, not another friend.
- Communication is so vitally important in the mother/daughter relationship. It is important in any relationship, but in this particular case who can explain womanhood to a girl better than her mother? Open lines of communication help your children know that they always have someone they can turn to, even if the topic of conversation is going to be hard to handle. If you are texting, or scrolling through Facebook or Twitter, and your child wants to talk to you…(please hear me on this) PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND LISTEN EYEBALL TO EYEBALL TO YOUR CHILD! Girls need to feel free to talk to their mothers. The daughter who can talk to you when she is young and knows that you will take time to really listen, will still be talking to you and asking for your advice when she is older.
- Time goes by way too quickly. I know some young mothers right now who are so busy taking care of little ones and it may seem to them like they will always be there with you needing help. Trust me, the day will come when they will be out on their own – and it comes all too soon. Cherish the time you have now. Use it to wisely establish a relationship with your child that will never be severed.
- The Bible doesn’t give us very many examples of mother/daughter relationships, and some of the examples are not very pleasant to read about. Just one example of this is Herodias and her daughter who was prompted by her mother to dance before men and ask for the head of John the Baptist. (Matt. 14)
However, we do read of other mother/daughter relationships: Jochebed and Miriam (the mother and sister of Moses) who worked together to save the life of baby Moses, Naomi and Ruth (a mother and daughter-in-law) who stuck together through some very difficult times, and then we read about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. When the scriptures tell us that “her children rise up and called her blessed,” I feel sure that she was blessed with sons and daughters. She displays the type of training for her children that would lead to a lasting relationship with them.
I loved my time with my daughter – my friend. We didn’t do anything special other than just spend time talking about all sorts of things – some serious and some not so serious. We enjoyed each other’s company and made a pact to try and do more of this very thing. We are both busy women, but we will be looking for more opportunities to be together.
I’m praying that you mothers who read this (and you fathers with sons) will realize that time spent with your children, whether while they are young or when they are grown, is one of life’s greatest blessings. Fit it into your busy schedule and enjoy some quality time.
Thank you, Jeremiah, for this wonderful time with my daughter.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3
AUTHOR: Donna Faughn