Tearing the Church Down One Word at a Time

One of the fastest ways to tear a local body of Christ apart is with your mouth. If you want to split the church, use harsh words. Negativity is one of the worst things that can come upon a family of believers. If you engage in negative talk about a brother or sister in Christ, you should be ashamed.
I have been guilty of this sin myself. It is easy to get pulled into this pit by your closest friends in Christ. It starts innocently, with just the remarks about a person’s habits or weaknesses. But before you know it, you stop looking for the good in people and you accentuate the bad.
Consider how negative communication affects:
1. The elders. They have the most difficult position in the church. They usually only get to hear the bad stuff. People don’t as often come to them to say “Great job!” or “What can I do to make your job easier?” Instead, they usually say, “Why did you do that?” or “I don’t like it when….” or “You all need to do something about…” And what about what might be said to others, in disagreement with their decisions that the elders never get to hear? Negative talk about the eldership is hurtful to the ones who serve, and it discourages younger men from ever desiring the position. A constant critique of the eldership will eventually cause division in the church.
2. The preachers. If you want to get a new preacher or youth minister every 2-5 years, then be highly critical of their activity. Try not to understand the anxiety and stress of their job. Spread a rumor about them. Pick them apart. Correct them whenever you get a chance. Challenge their work ethic. Preachers are involved with the members at a high level. When they are the objects of negativity, it always gets back to them. They begin to lose confidence, feeling that they are ineffective or unwanted. Negative talk about the preacher will do more than pack his bags, it will take him out of the pulpit for good.
3. The members. In order for families to be healthy, every member needs to find their place and purpose. When members of the body of Christ feel unloved, judged, or inadequate, the whole family will be in turmoil. On a daily basis, members of the family of God gossip, complain, note weaknesses in brethren, and dismiss the viability of certain people within the body of Christ. Not only is this sinful, but it contributes to Satan’s most important work – the attempt to destroy the work of Christ. The church is often in more danger from within than from without. Every child of God must take responsibility for how they treat fellow Christians.
May God help us to avoid tearing the church down one word at a time! The world is watching. Let the reputation of the church be love, not hate. Let it be peace, not war. Let it be kind words, not hate speech. Let is be a gentle and quiet spirit that is precious in the eyes of the Lord.
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” ~ Ephesians 4:29

All Winning Is Not Winning

When I was younger, I used to see pictures of those fiftieth reunions of high school graduating classes and think about how old those people were.  Last year, I had the experience of attending my fiftieth reunion and being in one of those pictures. Sure enough – all of those other people were really old!

It was my experience at our reunion that most of the conversations had some things in common. I’m fairly certain that this is not unique to my class. 

We “fudged” and told each other how little we have changed. We talked a lot about families; especially grandchildren. We got caught up on where we are living, what careers we either have or have had. We talked about classmates who are no longer with us. We talked about our own illnesses, surgeries, etc.  Of course, there was a great deal of reminiscing.

During one of those times of reminiscing with a former football teammate of mine, he told me a story I’d never heard before. It is quite possible that, at my advanced age, I had forgotten it. The incident he talked about took place during my senior year. I had been hurt, so I wasn’t on the field when it happened. 

Our team was playing a team who should have easily won. My friend was telling me how that, on our last drive, he came up short of the goal line and we came up just short on the scoreboard. The coach of the opposing team looked him up and said, “Son, you didn’t lose. You just ran out of time.”

I suppose that the coach’s comment was meant to convey the message that our team had achieved what is sometimes called a “moral victory.” Moral victories still show up as a great big “L” at the end of the year, though. 

I’m wondering how that type of thinking translates to something much more important than football. I’m wondering if this type of thinking has any connection at all to my life as a Christian.

I think that it does.    

How do I approach somebody with whom I disagree on religious matters? Am I more concerned with making a point or making a disciple? Am I more concerned about defeating error (as important at that is) or promoting truth? Am I more concerned with people thinking that I am a really great guy or with people submitting to the Lordship of Jesus Christ?

Am I more concerned with winning an argument or winning a soul?

“Moral victories” in athletics are still losses. Similarly, those “victories” I may think I have in religious conversations and discussions may be terrible losses with eternal consequences. If my motivation, attitude, and or actions are not Christ-like and do not point people to Him, it may very well be that the soul of a person outside of Christ would remain lost unless somebody else can reach and teach him or her.

It needs to also be said that, if those things mentioned above are not Christ-like, another person is in danger of experiencing a terrible and eternal loss. That person could very well be the man I see in the mirror on a regular basis.

I may think that I’m really something if I can “shut people down;” “bully them into submission” with my demeanor, physical presence, or knowledge of the scriptures; and win every argument or discussion in which I am involved.  I may have even convinced myself that I am very intelligent in so doing. 

However, the Holy Spirit does not place as much emphasis on intelligence as He does on wisdom. I need to remember that He inspired the writer of old to pen these words:

“…he that winneth souls is wise (Prov. 11:30, KJV).

I don’t want time to run out on that for me. What about you?

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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn

[Quote] Parents Need to Step Up with Their Sons

Source: Dr. Meg Meeker, Boys Should be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons, page 224

A Poem Every Parent Needs to Remember

Today’s post is very simple. It is a poem that you have probably heard before, but that every parent needs to keep in mind as we seek to raise those precious treasures God has given to us.

The poem is called “When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking,” and the author is Mary Rita Schlike Korazan. We hope it encourages us all.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed that there was a God to talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I looked….
and I wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

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Yes, Our Kids Are Sheltered in Their Entertainment. Yes, We Want It That Way.

Our family loves movie night! On Friday nights when we are at home, odds are we will have a simple supper and sit down in our living room to watch a movie. It’s been a tradition now for 4 or 5 years, and we love it.

We also enjoy going to movies sometimes. While it is expensive, we enjoy making it a special outing. We don’t go see every “kids’ movie” that is produced, because we want a trip to the movies to be special.

Though we watch quite a few movies, have a couple of favorite TV shows on DVD, and enjoy listening to the radio at times, we are very selective in what we let our kids see and hear through the entertainment media.

Very selective.

If they take the Lord’s name in vain? We don’t watch it.

If there is cursing..at all? We don’t watch it.

If there is homosexuality? We don’t watch it.

If there is immodesty? We don’t watch it.

And, yes, there is more on our “don’t watch” list, but I figured you didn’t want to read every possible thing we will not watch.

I sometimes hear parents talk about choosing movies and TV shows and they have very low standards for their children (sometimes, even small children). One reason they often give is this: “I don’t want my kids to be sheltered as to what is really out there.”

Really? That’s our logic?

Now, let me say this: I fully understand that we cannot keep our kids as “kids” forever. Virtually every day I am struck by how quickly they are growing. In fact, as I write this, my “little” boy will be 10 in just a few days, so both of my children will be in double-digits for their ages. They will not be kids forever.

And I want them to know that sin is real and it is out there in the world. We are not trying to hide the fact that people do bad and sinful things. We are not trying to make them think that everyone on the planet goes to church and always speaks properly and always dresses in modest apparel (a trip to a shopping center or high school football game will teach them that that’s not the case).

Two Reasons Why I Feel This Way

But, when it comes to entertainment? Yes, I want to shelter my children. Yes, I like it that way. And here are two reasons why.

First, I want to teach them that just because it is produced for entertainment does not mean that we have to consume it. It is remarkable how many children in Christian homes are experts on virtually every entertainment option that is produced. They have seen all the movies. They watch a constant stream of TV shows. They can name music artists and songs…

…just like people in the world can.

We are not required to be entertained in order to survive! I want to teach them discernment in their entertainment. (By the way, that means I must model that in my own entertainment choices, as well.) Instead of just vegging out in front of whatever is on, I want them to see that there is more to life than just mindlessly consuming whatever is put out there in the world of entertainment.

Second, I want to shelter them because I do not want Hollywood opening the eyes of my children. It is not up to Hollywood to educate my kids. It’s not up to record producers, radio stations, iTunes, DirecTV, or Google, either. It’s up to me!

Christian parents, we have got to quit just giving lip service to saying our children need to be morally pure. We cannot say that and then let the entertainment industry teach them their version of morality. Hollywood’s morals are going to slide further downward over time. We know this.

But since we know that, how can we just let them feed our children more and more rude, crude, vile, and immodest material? Our children, literally, are not ready for what Hollywood feeds them, yet we let them have the minds of our children.

Not this parent! I want to show them what sin is from the Bible, and show them how to stay away from it. I want to be the one to help them begin to think through how to face temptation, not let them see Hollywood’s “just do what feels good” message.

So, yes, they are sheltered when it comes to entertainment. And, yes, I like it that way.

Because it is one way in which I, as a parent, am refusing to abdicate my responsibility to parent.

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.

I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. (Psalm 101:3)

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn

What If I Am Wrong?

I may be wrong about my religion. It’s hard to grasp or even fathom seeing as how I pray every day. I read the Bible. I worship faithfully. I’ve been raised to know Jesus. I have always wanted to please God. I believe I love Him with all of my heart. Yet, at the end of the day, it is possible that I might be wrong about some things.
Now if you ask my friends they will all say that as long as I mean well and I am trying my best that is all that God requires. The preacher on television keeps telling me that as long as I am a good person and I believe in Jesus and I give to charity and I am kind to my fellow man that God will bless me. I read the paper and watch the news and I am involved in social media and they are all saying that really nothing anybody does is wrong: It’s just up to personal choices. So maybe my concern about my wrongness has no merit…maybe it’s just something I’ve concocted in my brain.
But here is the problem. I have been wrong before. I know so much more now than I once knew. In studying God’s word I have seen where I have been wrong about doctrine. In studying church history I have learned about the origins of some Christian groups and their teachings. In looking at what I have been exposed to, I have seen inconsistencies in what I have been taught. I have discovered that some of what I have been doing is more human tradition than holy commandment. I have also learned that on some very core issues different teachings exist and everyone cannot be right.
And then there are the examples I read about from some of the most outstanding people in the Bible. Moses, David, Peter, Paul – all at times were wrong. Moses let pride get the best of him. David allowed a temptation to nearly ruin his life. Peter, as an apostle, was a hypocrite in front of the Gentiles. And Paul, well before he became an apostle his religion was just completely wrong altogether! But I know these men loved God. They were just mistaken and needed to change. They learned the hard way until they learned the right way. I am confident that I am no better than these great men.
So here is where I find myself: Determined to have an open mind every day about my relationship with God. Determined to know God’s word and obey it, even if it is in conflict with my current beliefs and practices. Determined to listen to others concerning what they understand and practice themselves and why so that I might learn from them. Determined not to allow my family’s religious tradition and practice define who I am and what I believe. Determined to have a heart for God that is equally balanced with a knowledge and adherence to the truth. Determined not to be troubled by a new discovery of God’s will that conflicts with the one I am currently following. Determined that this journey will be not one of fear but of power and love and of a sound mind. Determined to please God and God alone.
I am learning because of God’s grace that everyone is wrong, and regularly so. We are human. We are weak. Therefore we are all wrong at times. God has allowed for it because He knows our frame. But God has also overcome it through the cross. The cross is what reminds me that I am often wrong. But it also reminds me that I don’t have to stay that way.
It is only when I see the cross that I truly see Jesus. I see Him hanging there. I see the consequences of my wrongness. And I am ready now to change.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2

Encouraging Or Hindering

It is very rare to find an individual who does not appreciate the prayers of others for them. There have been a few times over the years when I have run into people like that, but those occasions are very rare.

As one who has, in the past, preached full-time and as one who continues to try to serve as an elder in a local congregation, I can assure you that men who serve in either one or both of those capacities appreciate the prayers of their brothers and sisters more than they might be able to express. I have been encouraged over the years by people who will let me know that they include me and my work in their daily, personal prayers. It is humbling to know that people think enough of a local congregation and of those who serve in various capacities in that congregation to include them (us) as they address the Father. 

It is also encouraging when men lead a public prayer and include in that prayer a petition for the elders of a local congregation. I am blessed to be a part of a congregation in which this happens on a regular basis.

Recently, one of our men led a prayer that expressed a thought I’m not sure I’d ever heard before in a public or a private prayer. As soon as he finished leading us in prayer, I took out my phone and typed in that thought so that I wouldn’t forget it. As he prayed for the elders, he expressed the desire that:

“…we (the congregation) will be an encouragement and not a hindrance to them (the elders).”

That thought has been on my mind ever since our brother first expressed it. I have thought of countless ways by which members of a local church can (and many do) encourage elders. Those who live godly, dedicated, productive Christian lives can be (and are) a source of encouragement to those who serve as shepherds of God’s people. 

Sadly, “the other side of the coin” is also true. There are those who are sporadic in their attendance at worship services and other opportunities for spiritual growth; who are, at best, half-hearted in their dedication; and whose only “contribution” to the local congregation may be that they see themselves as the self-appointed church critic.

It should be obvious that elders would be discouraged about and disappointed with somebody who may not be truly converted; who is apathetic about serving the Lord; and whose only “contribution” to a congregation is negative. It should also be obvious that such people would discourage and disappoint many others; including those who may not be in a “leadership position.”

While all of that is true, our brother did not use “discouragement” or “disappointment” as he led us in prayer. Rather, the word he chose was “hindrance.”

It is of interest to me that the prayer was not primarily about the hindrance of the local congregation and/or of the cause of Christ throughout the world. Our brother’s concern as expressed in the prayer was that the elders might not be hindered.

It would be tempting at this point to begin a list of all of the possible ways that an individual elder or an entire eldership could be hindered by members of a local congregation. I suppose that the extreme of this would be the occasions when and elder’s own spirituality is hindered to the point that he “throws in the towel.” Sadly, some good men have given up on serving as shepherds because their own faith and growth was severely hindered. 

It is tragic that, in some communities, it is even possible to find men who were “drastically hindered.” At one time, these men were faithful to the Lord. They served His people by being one of the shepherds of a local congregation. 

Now, neither of those statements is true. They are no longer serving as elders. The pressure was too much. Along with that, they are also no longer faithful to the Lord. Not only have they lost interest in the souls of others, they’ve lost interest in their own souls.

I fully understand that each of us must give an account for our own actions (cf. 2 Cor. 5:10). I also fully understand that a valid argument could be made that something must be lacking in men who would abandon the Lord because of the behavior of others. 

At the same time, I would not want to be in the position of a person who would hinder, in any way, anybody who is trying to serve the Lord in any capacity. I would hope that I would be seen as one who encourages and who does not hinder.

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you (Heb. 13:17, ESV, emphasis added).

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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn

Episode 76: Reflections on Louisville, Dealing with Entertainment Choices, You Can Get Your Family to Worship on Time, and More! [Podcast]

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On this week’s podcast, Adam and Leah talk about some recent goings-on, they discuss how Christians can deal with entertainment choices, and encourage families with tips to get ready for worship.

Plus, they talk a little college basketball. It is March, after all!

Resources below.


Is Genesis History? [Homepage]

To Go or Not to Go…” [Amber Tatum; A Legacy of Faith]

6 Tips for Getting to Church On Time” [Of the Hearth]

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To Go or Not to Go…

To go or not to go?

That seems to be the question of the day lately. There are two movies causing quite a stir on my Facebook newsfeed so I would assume some of the rest of you are seeing the discussions as well.

This article is not going to address whether or not I am planning to see either movie. It is not going to address anything that will help you decide whether or not to see either movie. In fact, despite the name of the article, it is not about whether anyone attends either movie.

What I would like for us to consider here is the image we, as Christians, are portraying as we have these discussions about to go or not to go. Some feel very strongly about not supporting one or the other of these films. Others feel just as strongly that there is nothing wrong with one or both of the films. I am afraid that, as people try to argue for a viewpoint where they are trying to make a stand for truth or morality, they are actually damaging the bride of Christ simply by not tempering their words and attitudes.

I am pleading with brothers and sisters in Christ to be aware that the world is watching us as we have these discussions. They are watching for hypocrisy in the viewpoints expressed. They are watching for the attitude being displayed.

Remember, that we are to be the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:14). Paul told Timothy to remember to “…set … an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). Paul also warned the Corinthian church against such things as “quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20, emphasis added).

Beyond those warnings, we have the admonition of Christ in John 13:35 that “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” By all means, stay true to your convictions and don’t compromise your conscience, but be careful that as you are speaking the truth, you are doing so “in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

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AUTHOR: Amber Tatum

An Odd Reminder of Mortality

It was a bookkeeping error, and it led to a good laugh, but it was also eye-opening.

A man strode into my office recently with a big grin on his face. He handed me a piece of paper and told me I had to see it. It was a form letter from a life insurance company, but it might as well have been right out of a stand-up comedian’s stage show.

After the official mumbo-jumbo at the top of the letter, the first line stated, “We express our condolences for the loss of [person’s name].”

What made it funny? The man who handed me the letter was the one named on the piece of paper!

That’s right, the insurance company addressed a letter to a man expressing their regret that the same man was now dead!

Stories like this happen at times. I suppose one of the more famous in world history is that of Alfred Nobel, after whom the Nobel Peace Prize is named. Recently, the Academy Awards put the name and face of a film worker in their “in memoriam” piece, and she later tweeted that she was, in fact, alive and doing quite well.

We laugh at instances like these but they also serve as fair warning that Hebrews 9:27 continues to be true. The writer stated that “it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment.”

As the old hymn states, “Earthly life is only one short day when compared with eternity.” At times, it seems that life is crawling along, but James was right when he said that our life is as a mist (or vapor), in that it “appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

Still, it is rare to come face-to-face with that reality like receiving a life insurance letter about your own death.

But, may I ask, what would the realization that we are mortal and that our life is brief do to us if we would keep it ever before us?

While some might want to go “skydiving, Rocky Mountain climbing” or ride a bull named Fu-Manchu (sorry, couldn’t resist), that is not what Scripture would have us focus on. Those things are not wrong, but may I suggest even more important things?

Tell someone about Jesus.

Invest time in your family.

Run away from sin and toward the cross.

Bask in the majesty of God’s grace.

Those sound like ways to live when we realize that we are mortal and time is fleeting. In fact, that sounds like a good way to live each day.

Because one day, that letter will come with your name on it and it won’t be an error.

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn