Preparing for a Wedding

March 20, 1970 was a very busy day. Actually, there had been a great deal going on for weeks around my mom and dad’s house. We were preparing for a wedding – my wedding to the man I loved and with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. 

The time and place were set. Dresses were being made for bridesmaids, suits were being selected for groomsmen, flowers were being selected, songs were being picked out, decorations for the church building were in the planning stages, a photographer was chosen, THE DRESS had been purchased, a place for the reception was selected, a beautiful cake had been ordered, and so many other things were occupying our time.

I know this sounds very familiar to anyone who has either planned a wedding or may be planning one in the not too distant future. There is so much to do to prepare for a wedding.

But, I wonder…do we take any time to prepare for the marriage? You see, there is a huge difference in the wedding and the marriage. The wedding is a celebration that lasts for part of a day. The marriage is intended by God to last for your lifetime (Matt. 19:5-6).

How do you plan for a marriage? Let me share a few thoughts that hopefully will help stir some young minds to make an even longer list of preparations for their marriage.

• Take your time. Hopefully, you have had parents who recognize that the task of training their children for marriage begins with their example in marriage, and teaching what God says about marriage in His word. But, along with this, when you begin to have an interest in the opposite sex, take your time in selecting someone to date. Have your standards set that are in accordance with God’s word. Choose carefully the person with whom you will spend time and never rush into anything because “everyone else is.”
• Listen to your parents. Most parents have a wealth of knowledge just because they have traveled the path upon which you are walking. Listen to and accept their wisdom on subjects having to do with life. Marrying a person is one thing; dealing with life on a day-to-day basis with that person is something else entirely. We listen to the advice of doctors, teachers, co-workers and others in our life. Make sure you listen to the two people who love you the most. (Prov. 1:8)
• Understand the meaning of commitment. So many people today are raised without a deep understanding of commitment. We hear it said like this, “Rules are meant to be broken.” If it doesn’t please us or go our way, we quit. If you didn’t have parents who were committed to one another in marriage, learn what true commitment is before you enter marriage. Look carefully at the level of commitment of the person you are considering marrying and never assume “he’ll/she’ll change.” Again, God intended for marriage to last for a lifetime.
• Seek pre-marital counseling. Many ministers will not perform a wedding ceremony until they have counseled with the couple. What a blessing!!! Talking with someone who is objective about differences you may have as individuals is invaluable. If the problems you may encounter can be pointed out before you are joined for life, you will hopefully be ready to tackle them when they come (and they will come).
• Spend time in prayer and study. God will listen to you as you are preparing to enter the most important earthly relationship you will have. Next to being married to Christ when you become a Christian, this is your most important relationship. Pray for the person you will marry and his/her family. Pray for yourself and your family as you prepare to enter this new role in your life. Seek God’s wisdom in all of the planning for your life as a married person.
• Enjoy your wedding day. Take joy in the beautiful wedding for which you planned, knowing that you have spent the most valuable time preparing for your marriage.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all…”  Heb. 13:4a

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AUTHOR: Donna Faughn